It's a Man's World

Societal standards are just not my cup of tea. 

My mom's side of the family is 100% Chinese, but my dad's side of the family is 100% European.  While my mother always subliminally felt as though she was the least favorite child of three, due to being the only daughter, my father was raised by feminists. Naturally, after experiencing the cultural difference between their two families, I can relate to Maxine Hong Kingston's negative experience surrounding Chinese culture. Whenever I visit my dad's mother, she'll spill to me about how men suck, and how much she adores my independence. I'll come home from the visit only for my mother to yell at me, weeks later, for not being lady-like enough. 

I hate it. As much as I'd want for the Chinese stereotypes to be wrong, they've always rang true in my experiences. Last night, even, my Chinese aunt yelled at me for not determining a major yet. To be a surgeon, she told me, I need to unofficially declare my major now. 

However, the issue of stereotypical racial expectations is no more than an annoyance at this point. As a woman, I feel as though my sex "wraps double binds around my feet." Reading The Woman Warrior was actually the opposite of empowering. As soon as Kingston flashed back to reality, I felt as though I was being put back in my place. 

I, too, have "so many words that they do not fit on my skin." Slut, whore, bitch. Why aren't you smiling? Are you on your period? Sometimes, I'm embarrassed to look at you. Why can't you be like the other girls? Hoe...you look like a 20 year old girl going to a club. You dress like a hooker. You don't need makeup. Stop caking on makeup. Why do you look so tired today? Are you sick? Your ass is flat. You need to shave. 

I am not allowed to feel comfortable in my own skin. I am a runner, not even allowed to run alone anymore, in fear that I will get kidnapped and raped. Sex trafficked. Who knows.

Like Kingston said, "The swordswoman and I are not so dissimilar." We both are strong, we want to uplift those we care about, we want to lead. We can get through whatever life throws at us, we do things on our own. The only difference between the swordswoman and I is that she lives in a world in which she is not prevented from reaching her full potential. As a society, we need to stop with the unnecessary stigmas surrounding women.

After reading the Woman Warrior, our class immediately zoned in on the fact that Kingston became a "slob" and "refusing to cook was just stupid." Of course defying stereotypes won't help her case, but don't you think it would be very difficult to grow up hating yourself for your sex? Something you can't help? Being compared to a goose, being born a metaphorical slave, drawings of young girls being dropped in a river popularized in Chinese culture. Instead of focusing on the struggle she endures, our community still tends to jump straight to her faults. Like I said, I'm not society's number one fan. Chinese or not, cut women a break.