Slut-Shamed But Not A Slut

There is an invisible list out there that has the name of every person who has ever thought I may be a 'hoe', solely based on how I dress. The list obviously includes strangers, but also family members and friends... people who know me inside-out but still view a crop top or strappy bralette as a telltale sign of a slut.

My wardrobe consists of millions of potential stomach-exposing-leg-revealing-shoulders-out-cleavage-hinting-booty-popping outfits. One 'excuse' I could give for this is that I get heat exhaustion in the summer fairly easily, making me more inclined to wear clothes that allow my skin to breathe, therefore preventing myself from getting dizzy midday. Another 'excuse' I could give is that I love being controversial, and by not wearing conservative outfits, I am proving my independence to my overbearing parents. Perhaps my best and most real 'excuse' is that I simply just love that style of fashion, and my outfits genuinely make me happy. But why should women choosing to show skin have to make excuses for their clothes?

There is obviously no "unmarked woman." A picture of me in a hot tub immediately marked me as the soccer team's sex symbol for the summer. Me puking after a race (in a spandex and a sports bra) led a boy to tell me later how attractive I looked. Pictures of me in my low-cut homecoming dress caused my mom to confront me and tell me she was "too ashamed to show them to any of her friends." Wearing purple short-shorts in an Instagram photo moved my sister's friends to joke about "Marena's little sister being a hoe." Society has decidedly induced self-consciousness in what should make me happy and empowered to wear. "If a woman's clothing is tight or revealing, it sends a message" should not be a truth that is so immediately known to me, having only been past the point of puberty for a few years. As a sixteen year old, my life revolves around the prevention or act of being sexualized.

Now, I don't mean to point fingers, but I know that some of you are most definitely thinking... "If you don't want to be thought of as a slut, then why do you wear slutty clothes?" My answer to this very ignorant (but typical) question is that this issue goes beyond any hurt feelings I may harbor. Surprisingly enough, I care very little about how people choose to view me according to my style, but it is obviously not something that should be happening. Conforming to a society that believes that 'booty shorts equates a whore' is genuinely out of the question. Ask yourself a similar question; "if you don't want to be thought of as [insert derogatory term here] then why do you [insert your identity, or action that makes you happy]?" Instead, lets ask ourselves why we've allowed society to implant these degrading assumptions within ourselves. We're all guilty.

So lastly, my 'markings' conclude to this: that little strip of belly or extra inch of thigh you may see on a woman is not an invitation for you to assume she is doing it for attention, or doing it to find a new hook-up, doing it to further a reputation that you have started. As a marked woman, wrongfully marked, I implore you to change your perspective.