The Truth about the Quiet

Human relationships are destroyed by "sheathing" the truth. One day, you can love a person wholeheartedly, but the next, realize the "doublespeak." You realize that you failed to analyze the tone behind the text messages, or the loopholes imbedded between each sentence uttered to you. We have been beaten at our own game, as conceding to be honest and not follow the societal policy of fake smiles and empty promises is conceding to be fooled.

But, as Pinker said, "when all else fails, as it often does, [we] sort out [our] problems without any words at all."

So, here I am asking: Is it better not to speak to some, in an effort to not re-open the "fistula"?

When things turn sour, as we have meandered too close to the line between indirect speech and lies, we resort to the lack of words altogether. We adopt strong personas, claim certain friends, and pretend as if the things we say to certain people won't make its way back to them. Everything is a game. The dominance we exhibit is communicating another lie. And, although we assume these roles, the prior problems still remain dusted over. They are forgotten, somewhat, but Pinker is wrong in thinking these reminders of strength are enough to sweep our problems under the rug. Silence communicates worse than words.

The other day, I got coffee with an old friend. Due to our little situation, it had been a very long time since we had talked. While the reconciliation conversation went well, and I was able to return home feeling lighter from the sense of relief, I haven't spoken to her since. I wonder if I truly meant anything I said, or if every word was glossed over in politeness, as to not rock the boat. When she asked me if I still disliked her, and I immediately responded, 'of course not," was my subconscious just trying to "save face?" When I spoke to her, was I acting under the persona of a girl trying to forgive, or a girl trying to protect herself? I wonder we're still communicating today... through real words or silence, like if the link to my blog will get forwarded to her or summarized via word of mouth.

Re-opening the rest of my "fistulas" is the equivalent of re-exposing myself to a world abundant with hidden truths. But, I think it may be time to do so. No matter how much we may try, we always seem to be lying. Words do not mean what they mean, but silence fails at honesty as well. At least with words, we have a shot at the truth.